Perspective

I'm blind 2 my love,
Of my perspective of life.
No matter what you have stole,
It's been my heart from the start.
But even though you got it;
It's still not yours,
'Cause I'm married to nature,
It's beauty I can't put in words.
My heart was broken
Even when it never showed,
My tears went silently,

Even when you never seen.
My facade was to show,
That I was never hurt,
To hope you couldn't see my heart,
Pumpin hard through my shirt
But things changed,
When you saved me from myself.
half dead,
Nursing me back to health.
  I wish I could change the past
And sheild it from the pain;
But that would be really insane.
You've got my heart,
Oh,
My life belongs not to you.
Screw changing the past,

I want you
If I were to change it we wouldn't be,
And I bet you baby,
That my life would be misery.
You've got my heart,
But I've gt my brain,
But my life belongs
To my perspective on everything,
Because life is just so f*cking interesting

Against All Odds

I'm trapped.

Bounded on my hands and knees.

The mountains too high,

Can't you see?

You'd think I'd do anything,

To be free.

*Wrong*

I don't like where I am

But that's where he put me.

You'd think there's nothing left to do,

Than go to the rhythm ofmy life's song.

*Wrong*

I've got faith the size

Of a mustard seed,

More like a speck of dust.

But I'm willing to keep believing,

If it be your will.

My heart beats, For you to use me one day.

You put me here.

Where I am.

So I can do your will.

With my last breath,
On this Earth. I'll thank you.

And I know for a fact,

That that's not wrong.....

 Because you help me

Against all odds

Criss-Cross

One.

*Sigh*

Two;

Breath finally released.

Perfect criss-crosses;

Blood dripping on my feet.

I'm feeling kinda woozy

At least I'm feeling no pain

Well,

Maybe a little faint.

Crazy me.

What have I done?!

Drip to drop.

Drop to drip.

What havve I done?!

What is it?

there is something I cannot remeber.

Why I felt the need to do this?

To release pain,

By making it?

Everytime I do this,

I risk an infection,

Justto feel,

A woozy perfection.

I feel like a failure.

So very useless.

But I refuse to fail this time.

Washing away the woozy blood perfume,

Leaving only behind,

The pink criss-crosses,

On my skin.

Apocolypse

What's gonna stop me?

Who's gonna know,

About my daily horror filled life?

Am I only dying on the inside?
I am not normal,
Because they kick me,
And kill me,

And I always live.

What message is God sending here?

Or is it Lucifer?

Does he want my rebellious soul?

To fight with at the Apocolypse?

"What's gonna stop you?
"Who's gonna know?"

That demented voice whispers in my head.

Drowning it out,

I pretend to be dead.

"Lifeless,

Useless,

Good 4 nothing"

That voice whispers.

I would scream 'Go to hell'

But you rule over it already.

Don't try to rule me too.

"If God is really alive,

Why is he making you suffer?"

I wouldn't give spit,

To put out the fire,

That surrounds you.

What will stop you?

Who will know?

I would know.
And,

My concience would kill me.

No one will rule me,

I am free!

Pain

Pain,

Black as Africa.
Pain,

Like being stoned.
It hurts so much.
Something ain't right.

Not right at all.
The pain I feel from hatred.
Pain,

From being betrayed.

They like my pain.
Weather they know it or not.
It doesn't matter.
But what I know is...
I'm gonna make it stop.
They need to treat me

With respect.
I'm not a paper girl.
Best know that from now.
I know what's real

And what's not.
You cross me.
Karma'll cross back.
And once and for all,
You'll

Feel

My

Pain 

Notes From A Crazy Fiance

I rescued you from all else,

Your ball and chain,

Your stress.

You were waist deep,

I saved you.

And this is what I'll say.

Dear Darling,

"I'm glad you proposed,

I'm glad we're engaged,

But if we do not make it,

This is what I'll say:

"It's been a good run,

But I'm keeping the ring.

I'm keeping the kids (if we have any),

You can keep my wigs (pathetic),

I want child support and alimony.

You can keep the kids on weekends, 

Maybe later I may make amends.

And baby...

We'll be in this battle,

Until I win the war."

*Smiles sweetly*

"Now that we're in this together,

Closer than honey clustered feathers,

When do you want me to be with you for life,

The day I become your wife?"

*Cheeky innocent smile* 

Optimistic

Optimism isn't apreciated,

Until you know you cannot feel that way.

Optemism is harder to put on than it is to feel.

Hardly ever a person knows,

How hard it is to be opemistic,

When you feel no such thing.

You may put on a smile,

And laugh 'till you cry,

But in the end,

You feel like you want to die.

Insdie and out and your day never gets better.

At the moment you feel as if you want to cry,

Nothing ever gets better that day.

At the moment you feel like there's nothing in life,

Nothing ever gets better that day.

At the moment you feel withered and old,

nothing gets better that day.

Until you see that smile,

That'll light up your face.

Without knowing it,

Poring your heart out.

Trying not to cry

overcome with emotion

It feels so good

once you've let it all out

And you start to wonder

why you havent told anyone before

Walking home smiling,

After your conversation.

You walk in to the house

Smiling.

Optimistic.

Once more.

Life

What did I ever do,

To make you

Into this Beast of Hatred you call you. 

I gave you everything you needed.

I gave you life.

I gave you breath,

Even when you took it form me.

It seems I have no choice in the matter,

Of what you do anymore.

You push me around.

And I was helpless against it.

You beat me.

Black,

Blue,

And Purple.

The color of my skin changes.

Each time you touch my skin.

That's what I think of.........

What I feel........ 

But I'm not helpless anymore.

I was crippled against your will before,

But now your crippled by Karma.

Now it's my turn for revenge. 

To push you like you pushed me.

To hit you were it already hurts.

Feel my pain.

I've made us both realize,

That revenge isn't good.

'Cause in the end,

You just hurt yourself.

Prevail through the challenges

That life lays out for you.

Life is like a big game

Unfair and uncertain. 

We prevailed together,

And now you want to treat me right.

But now I'm leaving.

Going to someone appreciated me more,

Before I was gone.

Things are just crazy,

When you realize how screwed up life really is.

Things go beyond your control.

And life doesn't go they way you wish.

But now that I realize it......

I wouldn't change my life.

All my trials and tribulations, 

Make me who I am today.

All my pain and grief of loss,

Makes me appreciate things before they are gone.

All my life to live,

Learning to forgive.

Forget those who cause pain,

'Cause if I don't they'll always reign,

And rule my life.

Bend  it to their means. 

But I'm here,

Writing this poem.

Telling you,

Back up off my life.

Out my face,

And out of my business. 

Cause I'm the only one who runs my mind.

I'm the only one who tempts my Fate.

I'm the only one who runs my Life.

Flames

Flames licking at my skin,
Lighting me from within.

My brain wandering,

Are the flames are metaphorical?

Or are my questions rhetorical?

Why am I burning?

Why is my heart hurting?

What did I do,

To feel such pain?

I know I’m insane,

In a really funny way.

Can someone help me?

Can anyone hear me?

Save me from the fire.

Please, they’re climbing higher

I think I see you………….

Jumping through the fire and flames.

Trying to save my life.

Saving me from the flames,

That hurt like a knife.

Questions

Doth I not stand,

Upon my own two feet?

Strong like a lioness,

Kinder than thee?

My heart doth never yield,

To the liars that try fool me.

They steep themselves,

In the filth of their guilt.

Doth I not bleed,

Like our Mundo?

Our Nature?

Our Mother Earth?

Doth I not feel?

Laugh?

Hate?

Love?

Cry?

Aren't I not human also?

Am I so different,

From the human race?

Doth I naught bleed,

The same red blood?

Do you honestly think,

That I bleed blue?

Behind my endless questions,

Is there any philosophical sense?

Is anything I say,

More than just words?

Do they mean a single thing?

Or are these words......

My words.......

Just Questions?

Gazing Out the Window

I gaze beyond the window,

And wander who am I.

I'm in a sudden daze,

And don't know why.

I wonder where I am.

If I can,

Do anything and everything.

A breeze blows,

From my closed windows,

While I wander how.

I feel my house grow cold.

My years have passed me by,

And am getting very old.

I have lived my life,

Free of sorrow.

A bright light flashes before me,

Striking me blind.

I see my life flash before my eyes.

Then,

I am floating in the white.

I realize this must be Heaven,

But then I'm back to where I started.....

Gazing out the window.

Gone

Without you here with me,
I just can't seem to see,
The future as clearly.
I didn't know,
How things were planned to go.
And before I knew it,
You were gone.
They say a penny for your thoughts,
But they just don't see to care.
They say a penny for your thoughts,
But where's my penny?
Where do I go?
'Cause without you,
I'm lost.
What's my Identity?
When all that I know is with you,
And you're gone.
They say a picture's worth a thousand words,
But I'd trade a thousand pictures,
To hear one of yours.
But now it's impossible,
Now that you're gone.
Heaven must be a better place,
With your smiling angelic face.
I know you're looking down,
Watching and protecting me.
I feel your presence,
Even when your gone.
I want you here with me,
But I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Without you here with me,.
I just can't seem to see,
the future as clearly.
I didn't know,
How things were planned to go.
And before I knew it.
You were gone.
I'll always remember you,
Even when you're gone.
We'll always be,
Even when you're not with me.

Nightfall

I watch the seconds,
Tick by.
The big hand,
Lands on the floor.
I look around,
With no fear,
And see no sign of hope.
Blown up buildings.
Decaying flesh.
Looking at it,
You wouldn't even guess,
That it was such a joyous city before.
What happened here shouldn't happen to anyone.
Not a single soul.
I take a breath,
Of the cool dawn air,
And watch the white fog leave my throat.
If Nightfall comes,
How would I survive?
No hope,
Faith,
Or even doubt.
I watch the sun rise,
A quarter of an inch.
Revealing everything.
All that were synched.
I see a distorted figure,
Scuffling towards my house.
Something cool,
Is pressing against my side.
The creature,
Bares it's teeth.
I touch the cool thing,
Pressing against me,
And pull it out.
Seconds must past,
Before I realize,
What I'm staring at.
A gun.
Its silver,
Glinting in the sun.
The creature snarls,
And advances with surprising speed.
the weight of the gun,
Weighs down my hand.
The creature,
Hops up the building,
Climbing towards me.
Fear spikes.
Temperature rises.
I straighten my arm,
Pointing the gun.
The creature jumps in the air above me,
With bared teeth and clawed fingers.
aiming at it's head,
I pull the trigger.
Blood splatters,
And it lands on top of me.
I roll out from under the thing,
Kick it off the roof top.
It falls eight stories below.
I rock back on my heels and wander,
How am I gonna survive until Nightfall

We Are the Same

Stumbling on the barren,
My body tired and hungry;
I started to fall,
But was too tired to rise.
What do I have to do
To catch a break?
I closed my eyes,
And found myself,
In deep sleep.
Now that I think about it,
I couldn't remember my dream.
I was startled awake,
By an animal breathing over me.
Jumping up and backing away,
I looked into the animals eyes,
And realized we are...........
The same.

Shadows

I see you creeping in the shadows,
Waiting to take me away.
No one else can see you,
What does that say?
I sit still,
Waiting for someone to see.
See the shadows,
Crawling up my skin.
See the shadows,
Nipping at me from within.
Engulfed by the dark shadows,
Oh so dark.
When did this start?
I'm being watched,
And it give me the creeps.
Chills running down my spine,
Twitching my feet.
I have to get away,
from the madness,
That threatens to engulf me.
Devolving my body and brain.
Can't think.
I'm going insane.
With my last breath,
I set my soul free.
To wander,
Without feeling my misery.